Forgiving is not Forgetting…

A portion from my personal journal January 15, 2013…

Forgiving is not forgetting.

Forgiving is letting go of what is no longer imoportant.

Forgetting what has happened in your life is being untrue to yourself. All the situations you encounter makes you who you are.

Forgiving has released  a lot of pain within me. I can never forget, but I refuse to dwell, because it is literally killing me.

I need to feel happy, to know joy….

Forgiving is allowing me to heal. Is allowing me to open up and welcome joy.

These are the words I wrote 13 days after my Dad passed away. 13 days after I lost many family and friends, when I forgave him for his acts here on Earth. I dont condone any of his actions. I gave him my forgiveness for the things that happened between him and I. I needed to let go and forgive to open up, to grieve the Dad I really didnt know.

As someone who deal with depression Forgiving has had a profound affect on how I dealt with my Dad’s death and many other situations. I am a work in progress and am no where near the mindset I’d love to be at. I am learning to work through one thing at a time. The hardest lesson lately has been forgiving myself for the things I am not proud of.  One tiny baby step at a time….

Advertisements

2 responses to “Forgiving is not Forgetting…

  1. Wise words, you wrote… I struggle with forgiveness, as I can be a stubborn grudge holder, but we only hurt ourselves when we do that, don’t we? I can’t believe you would actually lose family and friends by being a noble, forgiving person, and ultimately doing what is best for your own well being. I’m also taking baby steps to forgive myself for my perceived failures, and it doesn’t come naturally, at all. I find it easier to forgive others, as stubborn as I am. You are a beautiful and loving person, deserving of peace, so keep taking those baby steps, friend. Love & Light to you, and thank you for sharing this ❤

    Like

    • You are very welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read it 🙂 Forgiveness is the hardest thing I have ever encountered. I am not sure I’ll ever learn to forgive myself, but at least I am trying. As for losing family and friends…my Dad did some bad things in his life and they didn’t/don’t believe I should have forgiven him at all. They don’t understand that the forgiveness was not so much for him…It was so I could live the rest of my life in peace. I will always remember, but the pain is not ruling my life. 🙂 ❤

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s