A portion from my personal journal January 15, 2013…
Forgiving is not forgetting.
Forgiving is letting go of what is no longer imoportant.
Forgetting what has happened in your life is being untrue to yourself. All the situations you encounter makes you who you are.
Forgiving has released a lot of pain within me. I can never forget, but I refuse to dwell, because it is literally killing me.
I need to feel happy, to know joy….
Forgiving is allowing me to heal. Is allowing me to open up and welcome joy.
These are the words I wrote 13 days after my Dad passed away. 13 days after I lost many family and friends, when I forgave him for his acts here on Earth. I dont condone any of his actions. I gave him my forgiveness for the things that happened between him and I. I needed to let go and forgive to open up, to grieve the Dad I really didnt know.
As someone who deal with depression Forgiving has had a profound affect on how I dealt with my Dad’s death and many other situations. I am a work in progress and am no where near the mindset I’d love to be at. I am learning to work through one thing at a time. The hardest lesson lately has been forgiving myself for the things I am not proud of. One tiny baby step at a time….